Hand Written Letters
Click images to enlarge.
Click images to enlarge.
Dear Shine Through the Rain Foundation,
Thank you dear for helping us in such terrible situation. I am truly grateful for your utmost generous support. Your support truly means a lot.
Thank you again.
Bless both of you & your family always.
To whom it may concern,
Thank you for the donation that allowed me to catch up on my phone bill. This is the only access I have to doctors, family etc. Living in a rural location it is essential to have the safety net of a phone for any kind of emergency or the ability to call a friend when in need.
The form that was sent has numerous loaded questions. Cancer for me has taken everything from me. Before cancer I was a successful businesswoman, fiercely independent, a community leader and a single mother. I regularly exercised and ate healthy. I felt beautiful sexy and quite attractive for my age. Shocked most people when they found out I was at least 10 years older then they thought. Life before cancer had its normal struggles like supporting and finding ways to send my children to college. Supporting my oldest daughter as she raises her daughter, my grand daughter.
After cancer I have lost my sexuality, (ovarian cancer takes from you as deeply and perhaps more deeply then breast cancer. I lost all sexual pleasure) It has aged me, I have lost my hair and my strength. It has taken my ability to donate my time and commitment to helping others. It has deeply affected my immediate family. My son refused to work or go to school for a year to stay home to look after me. My middle child was the opposite and found it difficult to see me…. She found places to stay and tried not to be home. My oldest still needed me for help as she finished school and help with babysitting. She was angry when loosing the consistent support. I lost the dignity of being able to dress and shower myself. I lost many friends; people stopped inviting me to places assuming I was too sick to go out. At times I was. People stop visiting. My time is spent traveling to and from Toronto; with traffic (and there is always traffic) its about 3 hours one way. It takes energy to gear up to the drive and time to recuperate and is costly. All my energy and time is spent on fighting for my life rather then enjoying life with extended family, friends, children and grandchildren. I have no other income accept the 968 dollars a month from a private insurance company. Last month my drugs were 500 and not covered. My 2 younger children have not had the ability to attend college because they had to take minimum wage jobs to help with family expenses. As a mother it breaks my heart to see them give up their dreams and live in frustration of the poverty cycle. Did you know that I can NOT use any of my the tax right offs that a married couple or old age pensioner can use because I am single and don’t have an income to right them off against. Even in taxes I loose. It has been a huge threat in my relationship with my partner and he struggles with any sort of future with me. This is only a small portion that I have lost. My dreams and hopes of the future have been shortened to a day by day. I am a ship without a rutter. My confidence and assurance is shaken, I have something growing in me that I cannot control. I am at the whim of those that treat me.
Cancer has taught me many things. I thought I was a compassionate person until this illness and realized there is more. It has shown me who I am from a different angle. My faith is still intact. Patience I thought I had a ton of, waiting in hospitals has brought me more. Asking for help is a new gift for me. Letting go of the not so important like vacuuming daily is flown out the window. . I have learned about good doctors and those that are just medical practitioners. Hospital food is as bad as they say with very little nutritional value. (I tasted the chemical wash on the salads the depleted over micro waved frozen food.) Cancer is not a gift it is my enemy.
There are many people deeply affected. I hear their stories when they see my bald head and reach out to share how cancer has hurt them or their loved ones. I have ears to hear and a heart to love and I am patient to listen
My joy is my strength. I have a great sense of humour and so do my children. My grand children that visit very frequently bring a great smile to my face.
These are some of the things that bring me (and my family) happiness.
I don’t discuss financial burdens with my children. I was relieved with the financial aid was received. The stress of loosing my phone was lifted when I was able to catch up my phone bill. My children notice when something good has happened because hopes return to my continence. My assurance to them that “Yes everything will be all right” is said with validity.
The rainy day fund was offered to me through The social workers at Princess Margaret Hospital. Thank you very much.